Ever feel like you "can't find the right words"? Express tough emotions fully with this process!

Did you know that your relationships get happier and healthier when your emotions are expressed fully?

James Clear in his book Atomic Habits explains ““We can only be rational and logical after we have been emotional. The primary mode of the brain is to feel; the secondary mode is to think.”

Two of the most important parts of your brain is the limbic system and the neocortex.

When you feel at a loss of words because the emotion of what you are describing is just too big, this is the limbic system of your brain taking over. The limbic brain is the emotional, “lizard” brain. It is incapable of language. The limbic brain deals with the concept of why. For example, “why do you love your husband?” “What is the why behind your business?” On the other hand, the neocortex deals with the what + you speak words from here. When you start with the words, it can be frustrating to feel like you are not fully expressing yourself. Have you ever felt that way?

When I was falling in love with my husband, what I wanted most in the world was for him to know why I loved him. But even writing 307 letters every day till we got married didn’t quite feel like enough!

The part of the brain taking over in moments like this is the emotional part of the brain called the limbic system. It is incapable of language. The limbic brain deals with the concept of why. For example, “why do you love your husband?”

There may be a way that you actually CAN communicate directly through the limbic brain.

Think about the following questions:

1. What are some ways that you currently connect with your family?
2. How do you feel when you can’t find the words to express yourself?
3. If you could express emotion fully and without words, what would that do for you?

If you could feel understood is there anything that would keep us from moving forward?

Based on what you’ve told me there IS a way that you can fully express your deepest emotions, feel understood, AND have happy, healthy relationships. Let’s look at the facts.

Since playing the cello uses no words, you’re able to communicate directly from the limbic brain. What this means for you is feeling calm. The real value is a strong connection with your loved ones.

Because music uses no words, you are able to take those deep emotions and speak directly from the limbic brain.

So, to continue the story, here’s what I did to express love to my husband. I played this piece (see video below!) for him at our wedding to express why I loved him.  

In the moment that followed I was surrounded with this incredible feeling of peace and our emotional connection was stronger.

Feeling satisfied and complete after expressing intense emotions is what you want, isn’t it?

Now I know what you might be thinking. “Ine, I’m not a musical person.” I completely understand. You want to be authentic to yourself in the activities you spend you time in.

Let me explain. Your brain is made up of two sides, the analytical left side as well as the creative right side. Learning the cello uses both sides of the brain simultaneously. What that means for you is the ability to communicate with your family both emotionally and logically. In a study done at McGill University, a cellist was put under an MRI scanner as she was playing. To the surprise of the neuroscientists every single area of her brain lit up at the same time. What they found is when you strengthen both sides of the brain at the same time, you are able to switch quickly between feeling and thinking as you communicate. 

You want to be able to communicate logically while maintaining your big picture values, right?

I am so happy that is what you want!

Picture this, I can see you now. It is December 25th 2023...

You just finished Christmas dinner with your whole family and the smell of peppermint hot chocolate follows you into the living room. Once there, you catch a glimpse of your cello, sitting right next to the Christmas tree. To your family’s surprise you grab your cello and say, “Let’s sing some Christmas Carols!” You feel strong connection to your family you as you start playing O Little Town of Bethlehem and heart is bursting with satisfaction. You know playing the cello has brought you together.

That’s the picture you want to see, isn’t it?

Let’s take a closer look at the idea that is causing you to hesitate and weigh it against the reasons to move forward, okay?

The reason to hesitate is, you feel like you are not musical. Is there anything else that belongs here?

The reasons to move forward now, are a way to express yourself, feeling understood, AND having happier relationships.

Don’t you feel the reasons in favour seem to weigh heavier?

Steps to take action now!

1. CLICK HERE to book a discovery call with Ine to save time and see if you could be a good fit for the cello.
2. Sign up for the weekly Inner Voice newsletter HERE